Cargo shorts

They're dumpy and dorky, silly and bulky, and way too long, usually falling so far past the knees that grown men end up looking as if they have short little elf legs. The bigger problem, of course, is that the shorts are completely inauthentic in that nobody, except maybe MacGyver or Indiana Jones, needs that many pockets and the men who insist on these shorts are, alas, neither.

Yes, to the dismay of people of fashion, men have continued to wear cargo shorts, apparently unconcerned about their appearance and also unconcerned about being authentic - though in the age of not-so-real reality stars, alternative facts and fake news, perhaps we shouldn't be surprised.

According to a recent study by the dating app Hater - it matches people who hate the same things - guys who love cargo shorts are the least likely men on the site to get a date.

Which, in the interest of public service, brings me to other warm-weather dating deal breakers.

Guys, if you don't want to spend the summer alone, you'll need to stop wearing these things.

Flip-flops and sandals

Your feet are gross - sorry, guys, but it's true - and no one wants to see your hairy toes and ragged toenails. So this is a situation of aesthetics. Also, flip-flops are not shoes and should not be worn outside of your backyard or cottage retreat or beach because they are just too casual for anywhere else. This is also a situation of appropriateness. And if you think women don't notice, think again. We always notice your shoes - or lack thereof. It's just one of our things. Men who pay attention to their footwear tend to pay attention to details, and that is a good thing. Men who wear flip-flops come across as sloppy and out-of-touch about their own shortcomings.

Muscle shirts or tank tops

I've said it before, I'll say it again: Armpit hair is icky. Few people - if any - want to be confronted by it every time you raise your arm to reach for something. And no one wants to be smothered by it during an embrace. It's not only unsightly, it creates a weird sort of forced intimacy. Especially these days when everyone hugs everyone else - even casual acquaintances - hello and good-bye instead of shaking hands. It's just too much of ... you. Same goes for back hair. And too much is worse than not enough.

Backward sunglasses, baseball caps

Do you have eyes in the back of your head? No. So there is no need to wear these items backward. Doing so makes you look ridiculous and somewhat delusional. Being delusional is not an attractive quality in a potential date.

Athletic shorts as casual wear

Yes, they're comfortable, but so are boxer briefs and you don't wear those in lieu of pants, do you? The point is there is a time and a place for most things, and the time and place for those long and voluminous athletic shorts - which, by the way, always look as if they are weighted down by sweat even when they are not - is Saturday morning at the gym. Knowing the right setting and right time for clothing says a lot about a guy. It says he respects not just himself, but those around him and wants to make an effort when he's in public.

Dull, dingy (formerly) white T-shirts

Use bleach. Use OxiClean. White T-shirts are a classic. Think Springsteen, James Dean. A man who appreciates and respects a classic is a good man.

So, guys, if you end up spending the summer alone, don't say I didn't warn you.

Tribune News Service

想約會(huì)的男士，請(qǐng)丟棄這些不合時(shí)宜的穿著

工裝短褲

它們看起來(lái)邋遢、過(guò)時(shí)、傻氣、肥大，而且太長(zhǎng)，通常都會(huì)長(zhǎng)過(guò)膝蓋，成年男人穿上就像長(zhǎng)著小矮人一樣的短腿兒。當(dāng)然更大的問(wèn)題是，它完全不靠譜，因?yàn)槌鞘恰栋賾?zhàn)天龍》里的主角馬蓋先或印第安納·瓊斯，沒(méi)人會(huì)需要那么多口袋，而那些非要穿工裝短褲的人卻不是這樣的角色。

是的，讓時(shí)尚人士感到驚愕的是，男人們繼續(xù)穿著工裝短褲，很明顯，他們不在乎自己的外表，也不在乎是否顯得靠譜——盡管在這個(gè)到處都是不真實(shí)的真人秀明星、另類事實(shí)和假新聞的時(shí)代，也許我們不應(yīng)該那么驚訝。

根據(jù)交友應(yīng)用Hater（它將憎恨同樣事情的人進(jìn)行配對(duì)）最近所做的一項(xiàng)研究顯示，喜歡穿工裝短褲的男人在這個(gè)交友群里最不可能獲得約會(huì)機(jī)會(huì)。

說(shuō)到這里，為大眾著想，讓我也來(lái)說(shuō)說(shuō)其他一些破壞在溫暖天氣里約會(huì)的穿著吧。

各位男士，如果你不想獨(dú)自過(guò)夏天，就不要再穿以下這些東西了。

人字拖和拖鞋

你的腳很惡心——抱歉，各位男士，但這是事實(shí)——而且沒(méi)人想看你長(zhǎng)著毛的腳趾頭和粗糙的腳趾甲。所以這是關(guān)于美感的問(wèn)題。而且，人字拖不是鞋，不應(yīng)該穿著走出你的后院，鄉(xiāng)村度假小屋或者沙灘，因?yàn)樗鼈冊(cè)谄渌魏螆?chǎng)合都顯得太隨意。這也是個(gè)是否得體的問(wèn)題。如果你以為女性不會(huì)注意，那你還是再想想吧。我們總是會(huì)注意到你們的鞋子，或穿沒(méi)穿。這是我們的天性。注意鞋子的男人通常也會(huì)注重細(xì)節(jié)，這是好事。 穿人字拖的男人給人的印象是邋遢，不了解自己的缺點(diǎn)。

圓領(lǐng)無(wú)袖緊身衫或背心

我以前說(shuō)過(guò)，現(xiàn)在再說(shuō)一次：腋毛很惡心。極少有人——如果有的話——愿意在你每次抬胳膊拿東西時(shí)看到你的腋毛。沒(méi)人愿意在擁抱時(shí)因?yàn)樗料⒌猛覆贿^(guò)氣。這不僅是不雅觀，而且會(huì)造成一種怪異的讓人不舒服的親密感。特別是在當(dāng)今，人們——甚至是和泛泛之交——常常以擁抱代替握手，來(lái)問(wèn)候和告別。腋毛這東西，怎么說(shuō)呢，太扎眼了。背毛也一樣。過(guò)分比不足更糟糕。

反戴墨鏡和棒球帽

你腦袋后面有眼睛嗎？沒(méi)有吧，所以用不著將它們反著戴。這樣做會(huì)讓你看起來(lái)很可笑，有幾分妄想癥的樣子。約會(huì)時(shí)，看上去有妄想癥可不是個(gè)吸引人的特質(zhì)。

把運(yùn)動(dòng)短褲當(dāng)休閑褲

是的，它們很舒服，但緊身內(nèi)褲也舒服，而你不會(huì)只穿著內(nèi)褲不穿褲子，對(duì)吧？我的意思是，大部分事情都要分時(shí)間和場(chǎng)合，就那些長(zhǎng)長(zhǎng)的寬松運(yùn)動(dòng)短褲來(lái)說(shuō)，適合穿著的時(shí)間和地點(diǎn)是周六上午的健身房——順便說(shuō)一下，它們看起來(lái)總像是因浸了汗而墜墜的，即便實(shí)際情況并非如此。懂得什么時(shí)間和場(chǎng)合穿什么樣的衣服，很能體現(xiàn)一個(gè)男人的素質(zhì)。它表明這個(gè)男人不僅尊重自己，也尊重身邊的人，并且他在公共場(chǎng)合會(huì)努力表現(xiàn)這一點(diǎn)。

(本段的翻譯有獎(jiǎng)?wù)骷?

所以，男士們，如果你們最后還是單身一人度過(guò)夏天，可別說(shuō)我沒(méi)提醒過(guò)你們。

翻譯高手：請(qǐng)將藍(lán)框標(biāo)注內(nèi)容翻譯為中文，在7月10日中午12點(diǎn)前發(fā)送至youth@chinadaily.com.cn 或“中國(guó)日?qǐng)?bào)讀者俱樂(lè)部”公眾服務(wù)號(hào)，請(qǐng)注明姓名、學(xué)校、所在城市、聯(lián)系方式（電郵或電話）。最佳翻譯提供者將獲得精美禮品一份，并在周三本報(bào)公眾號(hào)中發(fā)布。

上期獲獎(jiǎng)?wù)撸罕本?中華女子學(xué)院 高艷秋